Regardless of material status, age, gender or education, you as an employee may be subject to psychological bullying by your colleagues. What is the right way to behave in such a situation? Going with the flow, in this case, is probably the worst option. Being in constant stress for a long time will take all your strength and harm your health. But how to deal with coworkers who don’t respect you? Let’s find out.
What do you do when you are not respected at work? How do you deal with coworkers who don’t respect you? To deal with coworkers who don’t respect you, try 16 simple but effective tips:
- Try to be a smiling and friendly person. Be kind to all your colleagues. A positive attitude will keep you safe.
- Don’t tell anything extra about your personal life. Don’t listen or gossip.
- Try to act and look like everyone else. Try not to stand out much from others, however, you should not lose your face either.
- Do not fall for the provocations of the offenders. Stand up and don’t be bullied. If someone is rude to you, don’t reciprocate. Say in a businesslike manner that you will not tolerate such an attitude towards yourself. If you are entrusted with something that is not your responsibility, be able to firmly and kindly refuse.
- Observe the traditions that have developed in the team.
- Observe subordination at work, and devote free time to friendship. If you are friends with the management, do not tell the whole office about it.
- Do your job correctly and efficiently. This will save the ill-wishers from the opportunity to use your mistakes against you.
- If you are asked for help, do not refuse. Help colleagues as much as you can. But be careful not to let them use your kindness.
- Behave yourself. People who believe that good manners have long been a relic of the past are cruelly mistaken. The concept of “behaving with dignity” means that a person should not only follow the rules of etiquette but in any situation remain polite and respect others. Only those who have mastered these skills will be able to win the respect of colleagues and stand out favourably against the background of narcissistic and aggressive interlocutors.
- Respect other people’s feelings. Let the other person be who they are. Respect his point of view and personal space. Even if you are 100% sure that you are right, it is not always so important to defend your opinion to the last. Don’t let your ego ruin your reputation. If you follow this rule, others will be glad to see you. They will begin to listen to your advice and become more loyal to your possible mistakes. Of course, if you know how to learn from them.
- Learn to listen and hear the interlocutor. Be sure to keep this in mind if you want to win the respect of your colleagues, and not just talk them over. People are flattered by the attention, they love when they are listened to, so your task is to become a sensitive, attentive listener. Ask questions, try to get to know the employees better. Show genuine interest in their answers and they will respect you.
- Be honest and trustworthy. When your colleagues feel that you are speaking from the heart, your words are never at odds with your needs, and you are ready to take responsibility for your actions, your rating will skyrocket. Even if your point of view does not coincide with the opinion of the majority, act as you see fit. When you have been forced to change positions in order to secure a promising contract or to be more successful in doing business, try to ensure that these actions are consistent and do not contradict your previous key judgments.
- Praise the ideas and work of others. Some people experience painful pricks of jealousy when they see more successful employees. But if it is important for you to feel respect from your colleagues, learn to praise the results of someone else’s work. When you say words of praise, try to be as honest as possible. After all, gross flattery can ruin your reputation. Instead of admiring material values or good looks, praise employees for concepts and achievements. For example, you might say, “Thanks to your brilliant idea, we completed the project ahead of schedule.”
- Offer help to a novice or colleague who, despite the efforts made, cannot cope with the task at hand. As a rule, most people are preoccupied with their own “I”. But if you want to build friendly relations in the team, share your knowledge and experience, support employees and help them take a step forward.
- Empathize with your employees and let them feel it. Learn empathy skills. If you see that one of your colleagues needs emotional support, and you are ready to provide it, you have a reputation for being a sensitive person who is attentive to the problems of other people. Observe those around you. Often, someone who is upset or disappointed will try to hide their feelings. If at this moment you are there and can behave correctly, the person will be grateful to you. In the case when you offered support, but a colleague chose to solve the problem on his own, respect his choice and do not impose.
- Keep in touch. Follow this rule even if you don’t need anything from a colleague right now. Call, write a message or share a funny link on a social network – just show attention so that the person feels that you remember him.
What Are The Signs You Are Not Respected At Work?
Here are 11 signs that you are not respected at work:
- You are constantly the subject of gossip. Yes, gossip is common in the office. But if they began to you apart with enviable regularity, it means that you are simply not respected.
- You are ignored. And it seems that everything is in order with relations in the office, but for some reason, your suggestions are not noticed or not heard at all, during your reports everyone openly yawns and goes about their business, and your e-mails are automatically regarded as spam. All this means that you are not taken seriously.
- Your ideas are stolen without a twinge of conscience. There is nothing more offensive when your idea is passed off as yours. Sometimes this can happen purely by accident, but if you feel that your colleagues are constantly stealing interesting ideas from you, then it’s time to think about the fact that you are again not respected and not considered with you.
- You are regularly harassed (for no apparent reason). Of course, if you screwed up, then by scolding you, the boss is completely right. BUT! If your colleagues start to “run into” you, and they do it for all sorts of trifles, this is a clear indicator that you are just a scapegoat for them.
- Your credibility is constantly being questioned. Even if you hate working in collaboration with others, over the course of your long career, you will still have to step over yourself and learn how to do it. However, if your credit is challenged and your ideas criticized, you won’t be able to work as a team.
- You notice their body language, and it clearly does not convey positive information. Absentminded attention, lack of eye contact, chuckles, or even rolling your eyes while talking to you are all very bad signs.
- Your time is not valued. When you respect a person, you try not to waste his time on unnecessary questions that you can solve yourself, do not make appointments for him on all sorts of unnecessary trifles and do not contact him with all sorts of nonsense. But if you do not respect a person, then you do not care about his time, however, as well as about him.
- You are often looked down upon. Yes, of course, everyone has bad days at work, but if your colleagues constantly look down on you and only occasionally condescend to communicate with you, your office life can turn into hell.
- You are not included in lively discussions. This means that colleagues are simply not interested in what you think about this or that occasion.
- They lie to you recklessly. Obviously, if your coworkers don’t even bother telling you the truth, they don’t respect you.
- You yourself begin to suspect that your colleagues do not respect you. And here it is very important to be honest with yourself and not cut from the shoulder. Calm down, sit down and sort it out: maybe you are just a very sensitive person to everything, or you understood and perceived something wrong. Put everything on the shelves, draw conclusions, and if you really think that your colleagues do not respect you, do not put up with it – such an attitude towards you is unacceptable!
How Do You Get Your Colleagues to Respect You?
- Make sure you look good.
Appearance is the first thing that others will judge you by and on the basis of which they will form a first impression of you. All that is required of you is to look neat and tidy. This applies to both clothing and your hair and makeup (if you are a woman, naturally).
And on your first day in a new team, you should get ready for work as if it were a date. Such seemingly insignificant advice as caring for your appearance is the first on our list, because if you can’t cope with this, then the rest will be beyond your power.
Communicate with your colleagues kindly, give them your sincere smile when talking. Try to look the other person in the eye during the conversation, and be attentive to his words. These simple rules of communication will instil in your colleagues the confidence that you are interested in communicating with them and that you enjoy talking to them.
This is directly related to respect – after all, an indifferent or eternally gloomy person will not be treated well, and therefore they will not be respected either.
- Do your job well.
Professionals always command respect. And it doesn’t matter what field of activity we are talking about. You cannot become a professional in one week, it takes years of hard work. If you are just starting to work in your profession, of course, this does not mean that you will be treated disrespectfully a priori.
But be prepared for the fact that you will have to work on yourself a little more in order to prove to colleagues that you are worth something as a specialist. Continuously improve, readily take on challenging assignments, and generally take your work seriously. This will add to your reputation in the eyes of each member of the team.
- Treat colleagues with respect.
On psychological forums, you can often find the phrase: “Treat people well, and then people will treat you the same way.” This “rule” can be extended to respect. You are unlikely to generate a sense of respect for yourself if you yourself are disrespectful to colleagues, right? Surely you sometimes come into contact with people who, as it seems to you, treat you without due respect.
Instead of complaining about how boors they are, first try to behave yourself with dignity. Any person (only if he is not critically asocial) always feels how the interlocutor treats him. And a normal person will respond to respect with respect in most cases.
An important point: try to remember the names of all your new colleagues as much as possible when you get to know them. If you come to a large team, it may be difficult to do it the first time, but still, try. For each person, his name is the most pleasant sound in the world, and if the next day you address your new acquaintance by name (or by name and patronymic, depending on his status), he will be pleased that you remember how the name is. In addition, addressing a person by name is one of the foundations of a respectful attitude.
- Treat yourself with respect.
Here I remember another rather hackneyed phrase: “Respect yourself, and then you will be respected by others.” And this judgment is absolutely correct, despite the fact that it sounds somewhat standard. A person who allows himself to be used, grovels in front of others, turns a blind eye to open rudeness in his address – in a word, does not respect himself – will never be respected by others.
Try to look at your strong sides. Surely, you have something to respect yourself for! In any case, you are a person, and for this reason, already deserve respect. Show your coworkers that you treat yourself with respect, and then they will have much less reason not to treat you the same way.
- Keep your promises.
A person who systematically does not keep his promises will “fade” in the eyes of others more and more. Honesty is one of the best qualities of a person. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to develop and constantly support it. It doesn’t matter what promises you make to your colleagues – for work matters or personal.
Always think carefully about whether you can actually deliver on what you promise before giving your word. A typical situation at work: a colleague asked you to replace him while he was visiting a relative in the hospital, you made a promise, but changed your mind at the last moment.
First, in this way you set up a colleague since he has already promised his relative that he will come to him. Secondly, you will appear before your colleague as a frivolous and unlucky person. Next time he will not ask you for a favour, and most likely his general attitude towards you will deteriorate. But if you fulfil your promise, your colleague will be very grateful to you, consider you an honest and reliable person, and when you already need help, he will always be happy to provide it to you.
- Respond adequately to criticism.
If you think that a respected person will never be wrong and will never be criticized, you are greatly mistaken. In a team where all employees are mainly engaged in the same activity, criticism will inevitably be present. It will also come from the bosses. This cannot be avoided, and even the coolest professional has to accept it from time to time.
And if you do this inadequately – trying to prove that you are being criticized undeservedly and in general you are the “smartest” one, or, even worse, start criticizing your interlocutor in response – this behaviour will not add to your reputation. A person who is able to calmly and attentively listen to comments addressed to him and draw some conclusions from this will deserve respect from both colleagues and superiors.
- Behave yourself.
In a circle of friends, you can behave as is customary in your company, but at work, you must follow some rules of conduct. Always dress in clean clothes that are appropriate for your job. This is somewhat stereotypical, but a manager in a suit will subconsciously command more respect than a manager in a T-shirt and jeans. But here, of course, it all depends on the company and your specific work. It is also not worth going too far with the formality of clothing. Speak competently, do not break the chain of command in communication, use the rules of ethics and etiquette. Do not speak badly about people behind their back, do not be rude.
Gossiping is also not the best way to communicate with colleagues. Moreover, if you have just come to a new team, you still do not know your colleagues well enough to discuss their life or their actions with others. It is better to talk about yourself and be sincerely interested in the lives of colleagues themselves. Don’t immediately ask everyone about their personal lives. When you reach a certain level of trust, they will tell you about it themselves, if they deem it necessary.
- Have your opinion.
Always defend your position and beliefs in all matters. Of course, this should not be done aggressively, but gently. Show respect for other people’s opinions, but do not give up your own. Do this at least once – it will let your colleagues know that you are easy to manipulate. And a person who is easily manipulated will never be treated with respect. If you have not yet decided on your point of view on the issue under discussion, it is better to avoid actively participating in this conversation altogether. At first, in a new team, try to avoid those that usually cause heated debates – politics, religion, unconventional relationships.
- Be yourself.
Perhaps when you come to a new team, you want to be more serious, more friendly or more fun than you usually are. But you don’t have to try to be who you are not. Being too serious will make people bored with you, and being too kind can irritate you. A person who is too cheerful can quickly get tired. In pursuit of the respect you desire from your peers, it is easy to lose your own face. Behave how you feel. And all your positive qualities will definitely be appreciated. Do you want your colleagues to respect the real you, not who you want to be?