In life, you inevitably have to deal with unfriendly or rude people. It’s always someone who gets on your nerves, whether it’s a stranger at the grocery store, a roommate, or a colleague at work. Different situations allow for different strategies for dealing with a rude person.

If the person has personally insulted or you have to deal with their rudeness on a daily basis, it is best to discuss the issue directly. If a stranger is rude to you and his act is not worth your time, then you can act wisely and not pay attention to him. Today we will consider how to behave and what to say to a rude coworker.

Why are my colleagues rude to me? Your colleagues might be rude to you because they had experienced rudeness before. Rudeness is contagious, people who have experienced rudeness in themselves begin to behave more rudely. And if you are in an environment of rude people, you can become one too. Your colleagues might be rude to you if they are in a bad mood or if they are jealous of your success, too.

How to Get Back at a Rude Coworker?

• Establish your boundaries.

The most important and best thing to do when dealing with a toxic person is to establish and defend your own boundaries. This will be difficult, because for a toxic person, regardless of the nature of his behavior (it may be aggressive or whiny), the boundaries of others are unacceptable and very annoying. A toxic colleague will invariably try to invade your personal space, and, most likely, he will do it repeatedly and in a rude manner. But for successful coexistence and communication with a problematic colleague, you need to clearly define these boundaries.

Boundaries include not only emotional limitations (courtesy and respect for the feelings of others), but also physical boundaries, as toxic people often encroach on the time, health, and physical strength of others. This can be helped by so-called “I-statements”: for example, “When you say…, I think/feel…, so I will not do any more…”. In other cases, you need to learn to give such a colleague a tough rebuff and just say a firm no.

Toxic people are great at hurting others, but if you take a closer look at them and listen to what they say, you can understand that their logic and their behavior are in fact irrational. By being emotionally involved with a toxic colleague, you rob yourself of your chances of winning.

But if you feel above it both emotionally and mentally, you can get the upper hand. When you are forced to communicate with a toxic colleague, try to take an observant position, as if you are writing a detective story about this person, but do not get involved in arguments or clarifications in which he is trying to drag you into.

• Focus not on problems, but on solutions.

If you had to do some work with such a colleague, try to correct your behavior. Starting to focus on a problematic relationship with a toxic colleague, trying to understand him or find an approach to him, you will fall into the trap, because these problems cannot be solved.

Instead, focus on solving work problems and think about how to complete the project on which you are forced to cooperate with the least emotional, physical, and time losses. Thinking like this will lead you to the desired result much faster.

• Control your reaction and emotions.

Make a straight face. Show no emotion. Even if you start to get angry, angry, or annoyed, you cannot show that the rudeness has reached the goal.
Stay calm and collected. If you are losing your composure, it is best to close your eyes and take a deep breath.
Maintain a calm or expressionless look, get out of the situation completely, and show that the person is not worth your time.

Toxic people often play on a certain combination of feelings: first, they cause a storm of unpleasant emotions in people (for example, anger or fear), and then, while the person has not yet had time to come to his senses, they blame or ridicule him for these experiences and thereby cause a new wave of emotions. now shame and guilt.

Remember that you cannot make a person feel ashamed of something that they are not actually ashamed of. Therefore, recognize and accept the emotions that a toxic colleague evokes in you – such emotions are absolutely normal, and you have every right to experience them. This way, not only will you be able to get out of the vicious circle described above, but you will also be able to more easily maintain your distance from your toxic colleague.

• Seek support from other employees.

If there is a toxic employee in the team, then working with him or next to him will inevitably unsettle you from time to time. At such moments, you should not shut yourself in and scold yourself for failure, but you should also not use the tactics of a toxic colleague, that is, gossip or provoke others to emotions.

Try to reach out to a loved one for support, tell what happened, and talk about how you are feeling. This will help you distance yourself from the situation and find a solution that works for you.

• Change your actions.

“When we are faced with problematic colleagues, it is easier to achieve understanding on their part by focusing on understanding what they need from us. The easiest way is to think:“ Why should I change if the problem is in them? ”However, the point is that they are yours the problem, and if you want to solve it, the most effective way to do this is to take responsibility for the change. Often the solution is to change something in your behavior first. ”

• Don’t delay solving the problem.

The longer you ignore the problem, the more insoluble it becomes. Often, a simple conversation can be enough to resolve the issue on the spot. “If you have a conflict with someone who is in charge of you, you just need to get the point.

How to Deal with Workplace Rudeness Video Guide

How to Deal with a Coworker Who Undermines You?

Accept that being rude is a common human quality, and getting along with everyone simply won’t work. We can all be illogical. In some moments even we can be rude!

Don’t take rudeness personally. It is usually associated with the person’s personal problems or self-doubt, not with you. Even if it was “on” you, it did not mean that you were the “cause”. Do not mistake someone else’s rudeness for your wrongdoing; look at the situation objectively.

Even if the matter concerns you, and the rude person insulted you personally, stop and understand that you yourself determine your reaction. Deprive someone else’s rudeness of strength, perceiving it exactly as someone else’s, and not your problem. Remain firm and confident, don’t let the words hurt you.

React with restraint. Show yourself to be a polite person, not a trouble seeker. This will show maturity and dignity.

Behave the opposite of being rude: Smile, show compassion and ask how the person is feeling. Sometimes a cry for help becomes rude, and in such cases, a person needs your kindness. Radiate positive and don’t waste your energy on negative emotions.

Only share these encounters with your closest friends. It is sometimes helpful to speak out after an emotionally stressful situation, but do not dwell on it. Greatness lies in not inflating an elephant out of a fly. In addition, there is no need to spread rumors that may reach the brute.

Monitor the behavior of others. It is very likely that other people also experience this person’s rudeness. Notice how others react to being rude and how successful that behavior is. This will help you learn to better cope with the situation.

Do not respond rudely to rudeness. This will only show that the person has hurt you. Plus, if you’re being rude, how are you different from being rude?

Don’t try to change so that others don’t feel superior to you. Rude people often play from a position of strength, trying to frame or change you.

Try not to aggravate the situation or start an argument. Sometimes it’s best to just walk away without convincing or belittling in return.