How to Start Conversation on Tinder (+ BEST Opener Examples)

If you are racking your brain trying to answer that internal question: “What to write to a girl in the first message on Tinder?”, take my simple advice: “Start a conversation with a Tinder opener”.

A Tinder opener is a very first message that opens your conversation. Therefore, a successful Tinder opener is that which is unusual, intriguing, and differ from other messages. If she becomes interested in your first message, you will get acquainted and continue chatting.

That’s why you need to invent something more original than those beaten phrases like “Hello, let’s be friends” or “Hi, your pics are so cute”.

There are many examples of Tinder openers at my website, but the matter is that over time, you should learn how to compose them by yourself. If you learn to invent something new in your head for every particular case and for every particular girl, you will no longer need to search for appropriate articles about how to start a conversation on Tinder over the Internet.

It’s cool when she has many hooks about her hobbies, goals, and values in her Tinder bio and you share these interests – then you have a somewhat clear idea about her. But what if there is no such a detailed bio and her profile consists of a single selfie, what shall you do then?

The Best Way to Start Conversation on Tinder

The first thing you need to learn is to find hooks for opening messages. The better you learn to detect potential icebreakers the more successful your interaction with a girl will be.

I picked a photo from the Internet to help you find conversation hooks.

Well, look at this girl, examine every detail. What attracts your attention? Her smile? Eyes? Hair? Ask yourself what would you write to her? “Hi, you look awesomely cute”, “Hi, you have a nice dog”, “Hello, your eyes and smile are so beautiful ”. In fact, such an attractive girl receives tons of similar messages.

It’s important to understand when you write to a beautiful girl that she is lovely, you raise her status in her own eyes because she already knows this – hundreds of men wrote to her practically the same before you. Chances are that she will just reply “Thanks” or “I know, thanks” to your compliments. As a result, you will not hook on anything.

In such situations, you should treat a girl as equals even if you don’t consider yourself as attractive as she. It’s crucially important to be self-confident.

Now I will show you some hooks which I marked for myself on this picture with a beautiful girl.

I marked 14 hooks. To the right, you can also distinguish the sea in some distance from the girl, but since it is difficult to say whether it is the sea or not, I decided not to focus attention on it.

I was enumerating these hooks as I noticed them while looking at the photo.

#1. Eyes
#2. Hair
#3. Eyebrows
#4. Smile (lips, teeth)
#5. Shirt
#6. Legs
#7. Collie
#8. Shorts
#9. Nails
#10. Sand
#11. Accessories
#12. Rings
#13. Bracelet
#14. Mountains

Suppose you were as attentive as I, and at the end of this article, there will be one more test for your attentiveness. Given the fact that guys first pay attention to eyes, hair, eyebrows, and a smile, then it’s fair to assume that guys most often write to her about her beautiful eyes, charming smile, etc.

But what about all other conversation hooks? Clothing? How is that for the collie? She hugs the dog so strongly, that we can assume she has a special interest in this pet. Perhaps, it is her dog. Perhaps, the dog is taken just for a photo shoot. Whatever the truth, it’s a very good hook to start a conversation. Note that I noticed accessories and bracelets practically in the last turn. She definitely loves accessories given their amount on her hands.

My opener:

Hello, you and the collie look like inseparable friends. You are embracing him so tightly that he apparently did not expect such a demonstration of love from your side

She can’t give a banal response to this message, but she will have to text a comprehensive answer back provided she has read your message. I softly show my interest not only towards her but towards the pet as well while not pouring out compliments. The matter is that in America, girls buy themselves animals exactly for meeting with new guys. You step up to her and say: “WOW, your doggy is so cute!”, and your conversation seems to be naturally born … But I digress.

Now make up your own non-standard Tinder opener, and besides, here the 14th point (that one with mountains), which I marked not for nothing. However, it’s better not to mention the mountains in the first message. Instead, speak about her in the opener. For instance, if you tell her “I know that mountain, I was there ”, she is likely to reply “Great”, and your conversation will come to the end. But if she actually was on that mountain, it would be another case.

OK, you wrote to her, and she texted back. What’s next? What should you write to her then? Want to ask her “How are you?” Do the math: you just made her reply to you. What is more, you were very creative and used a non-trivial way to get to know the girl on Tinder. And now you are going to continue the conversation with a beaten phrase which is used by everyone? No, here you definitely need a different strategy.

What to write to a girl in the second message on Tinder?

We found out what you can write in the first message, but what about the second? I have never seen any tips regarding the second message on Tinder on other sites; therefore I decided to include them in this guide. Suppose, you wrote an opener to her in the first message, and she replied. Then your following message must also be an opener. I mean, you need to continue the conversation in the same vein. You started the acquaintance unusually, consequently, you must keep it in a similar way if you do not want to destroy the communication.

The first opener:

Hello, you and the collie are like inseparable friends. You embrace him so tightly that he apparently did not expect such a demonstration of love from your side.

She can give any answers here, but let’s imagine any simple example of what she might write in response:

He already got used to my tight hugs. We were walking on a beach with my friend and decided to have a small photo shoot.

The second opener:

If you hug all your friends so tightly, then I’m ready to become your inseparable friend right now.

This is a slight hint that you wouldn’t mind if such a beautiful girl hugged you too, even as a friend.

And feel free to make fun even if her face on photos looks so serious as if she were in business negotiations. The more unusually you begin the communication, the more positive her answer will be.

Where else can you look for the hooks to start a conversation on Tinder?

#1. Name and age
#2. Place of work, study
#3. Distance between you
#4. Tinder notifications when your get the matches
#5. Your original thinking, which is not attached to nothing, but only to your own imagination
#6. Information on her profile (provided it is not empty)

#1. Tinder Opener Example: Christmas Gift

You, probably, often received notifications from Tinder like “Don’t keep your match waiting, send her a message!”. Then I began to invent different hint on my own as if it was not my initiative, but Tinder told me what to do. And look what I got as the result.

Hello, do you think, compliments work? Tinder prompts me that I need to write a compliment to you, and something should happen after that.

?? Hi) Surely, compliments are never too much ?

You got me going) I really wonder what can happen after I write a compliment to you? Maybe, Santa Clause will bring you to me as a Christmas present?

Or he will bring you to me ?

This is how we suddenly decided to celebrate New Year together)) Shall I come with a gift bow or put on some other clothes?

The bow is enough))

And wouldn’t your parents mind such a present?)

We will see then)

Your parents can like me

Oh it will be difficult))

Do you often consider their criticism about the guys you would like to date with?))

I have my own opinion))

Then it is easier to make you like me ??

We always listen to each other but make decisions on our own))

Then let them know you are an adult girl already and have chosen a Christmas gift by yourself)

It would be nice to have a look at my gift before Christmas)

Then give me your phone number, the delivery service will contact you and bring the gift in the indicated place)

#2.Tinder Opener Example: 10 miles away from happiness!

Here is an example of how you can make effective use of the distance between you. In fact, it is good for any situation.

Hi, you are a lucky girl!

Hi))) Why?)

Because a guy who can make you happy lives in just 10 miles away from you!

Where are you from, my lucky maker?)

I came from your sweetest dreams, and I was told, you were looking for me)

From which dream did you come to me?

From that one where we had fun together, and I was swirling you around in my hands, but, the dream abruptly ended, and I forgot to do something…

What exactly?)))

I forgot to take your phone number)

#3. Tinder Opener Example: Arrest me!

The third example of starting a conversation on Tinder was with a girl working in the police. Her photos included only selfies, and her profile was empty so that there was nothing to hook on except for the place of work. I had to start the communication by playing the game of a good policeman and a bad criminal.

Hi) Arrest me please as I’ve been hiding out from the police for three years already!)


Interesting beginning

Unfortunately, I can’t

I have no powers to do this

Then I know what to give you on your birthday


Pink furry handcuffs


Our communication did not last long. She apparently liked my opener so much that finally asked where I lived and took my phone number herself. To my surprise, she called me first and invited to play bowling. Her job apparently taught her to take phone numbers from criminals?

#4. Tinder Opener Example: I am 99 years old!

Here is the fourth example of a girl with whom I got acquainted. Her profile contained only one selfie, there was no any bio, except for her age – 99 years old. The girl apparently wanted to hide her real age. Surely, I could write something about her eyes or lips in the opener, but I was enticed by that magnetic number 99. Having played a little with the number 99, I concocted the following Tinder opener:

Hi ) For 99 years, you look awesome )) If to turn the first nine into the six, we will have the Zodiac sign Cancer ♋

Or something else ?


I’m not Cancer by the Zodiac


Then I have good news for you – I’m Aquarius)

I get along well with Aquarius people

They are utopians))

And they want to change the world)

My mom is Aquarius, too

Moreover, she got my hint about the number 69, and her mother is Aquarius. As it later turned out, she has a brother, and he is called like me. There were several pleasing coincidences, so that I may conclude that our communication flew smoothly from the beginning. The story of our communication is quite long: we discussed TV shows, sports, healthy eating, recalled funny stories from our lives. Finally, I added her to my friends on Telegram and gradually led the virtual interaction to a real meeting.

#5. Tinder Opener Example: You look like my first wife

When I’m in tune for a fun communication, I even do not need to think out how to start a conversation on Tinder. I really like when girls have an outside-the-box thinking and approach the communication unconventionally. Therefore, I try to make up something unusual for each particular girl, in each specific case.

Hi ) You look like my first wife


I can’t really if it is good? ??


I’m frequently told that I resemble someone or other.

That’s all my appearance)

? I need to say that I’ve never had a wife, but that can change ???

? You could be the first)


But I really thought I resemble someone ??

I can’t believe I fell for that trick!! ???

Tinder openers rules

Remember rules of the first messages on Tinder. They must be without any vulgarity or filthy hints at a bed. Even if your goal is to find a no strings attached relationship, your communication must look like a game rather than the demonstration of your wild fantasies. You should be tactful and attentive. Try to notice every detail of her clothes and everything around her. You can beautifully play even with the most insignificant detail and turn a virtual communication into a real whirl of pleasant surprises from her side. She will definitely appreciate your special attentiveness.

The opener must be such as a girl could not reply just “Yes” or “No” to it. Your primary goal is to prompt her for a comprehensive answer. Your first message to a girl on Tinder must not have any mistakes; otherwise, she will be disappointed in you from the very beginning.

Don’t place yourself above her – she is like you, meaning, you must not pour out compliments on her in the very first message. It’s like fishing when you throw out a rod to catch a fish. You throw out a fishing rod with bait and wait for the right girl to swallow it.

Don’t worry if a girl didn’t reply to you or answers drily. Find another girl who will understand your style of communication. There is a category of girls who rarely check Tinder or communicate exclusively on Instagram.

Your homework

Now you know the best way to start a conversation on Tinder with absolutely any girl. And I want you to solidify your knowledge in practice. Your task is to find 5 different girls on Tinder and make up an unusual opener for each of them. All openers should be based on different hooks:

  1. Photo
  2. Place of work or study
  3. Distance between you
  4. Her name or age
  5. Her hobbies or information in her bio

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