Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s like a psychological thriller, but the reasons are often harmless. You come to school or work in a new dress, and a couple of days later your friend appears in almost the same one. You sign up for a programming course and a friend goes there too. You write a heartfelt post on Instagram, and the next day, a friend brings up the same topic on his blog.
Friends use your words and jokes, adopt your way of moving and speaking, listening to all the same songs as you. And this happens all the time – and you have a persistent feeling that you are being copied.
Why Do My Friends Everything I Do?
There are 4 reasons why your friends copy everything you do.
1. They just love what you do
If you are friends, then you already have a lot in common. So it’s not surprising that a new hobby, word or hairstyle hooked a friend – and he wanted to repeat it.
2. They cannot come up with something of their own
Creating an interesting image, choosing makeup, finding good courses – all this takes time and work. It is much easier to come to everything ready-made. Sometimes this happens because a person is too lazy to put in efforts, and sometimes – because he lacks ideas, knowledge, imagination.
3. They consider you to be an authority
In their eyes, you are a person with excellent taste, who understands trends and can always come up with something interesting. Therefore, they want to reach out to you, to do the same as you, to keep up.
4. They are jealous
And they just want to “displace” you, take your merits and bright qualities, look more interesting and attractive – yes, just like in a terrible movie about doubles or sworn friends.
Yes, sometimes this is unpleasant: everyone wants to remain unique and be at least a little different from others. In addition, if we are talking about a thoughtful image, it turns out that a copycat friend is simply stealing the fruits of your work on yourself.
If your friend copies everything you do, it means that he (consciously or not) admits that you have gained the upper hand over him in some way. Often people with an immature attitude towards others and towards themselves are engaged in copying behavior. A person during this period needs to rely on someone in order to feel the long-awaited ground under his feet at least for a while.
What to Do When Your Friend Keeps Copying You?
Here are 6 steps you can take when your friend keeps copying you.
1. Be honest with yourself and make sure you don’t copy anyone yourself.
In principle, imitation in all areas is part of human nature. We all do this to one degree or another: we spy on other people’s images, steal other people’s ideas, use someone else’s experience.
To confidently declare that you have never copied anyone, you need to live on a desert island. So, perhaps your dissatisfaction is not entirely justified and you yourself periodically repeat after a friend.
2. Consider if you can ignore the situation
Suddenly, everything is not so scary: imitation on the part of a friend looks completely harmless and does no harm to you. It’s one thing to buy the same dress as yours, and quite another to copy a drawing style or assign work. You can close your eyes to the first, and of course, you can’t just leave the second.
If the little things are the problem and they don’t upset you too much, it might make sense to ignore them.
3. Remember that you are different anyway.
Just because you have similar clothing styles or similar hobbies does not make you clones. In any case, you are very different, with your own unique qualities, and there is a place for each of you.
4. Protect your work
If a friend is not just imitating you, but stealing your intellectual property, for example, copying texts or pictures, you should think about how to protect yourself from this.
One of the ways is not to show your work to a friend, but to immediately publish it on social networks under your own name. So at least it will be clear who was the first and who stole. In addition, in some social networks, the “repeat” can be blocked for non-original content.
5. Talk to your friend
If the situation is very unpleasant for you, you should say it directly. Yes, the conversation will most likely turn out to be as awkward as possible, but you will dot all the “i’s”.
Do not blame your friend, and do not try to shame. Use “I-messages”, talk about how his behavior makes you feel, ask him not to do it again.
6. Increase the distance
If the conversation did not help and it became obvious that he was copying deliberately and in cold blood, in order to piss you off or take your merits, perhaps it is better to stop communicating with such a person.
How to Deal with a Friend Who Copies My Looks and Interests?
A classic of American horror films: the heroine meets a new friend who begins to dress, smell, talk, and act like her. In the end, it’s clear that the copycat’s goal is to kill the heroine and steal her ideal life. The plot is not so far from reality.
In life, girls are often faced with the fact that close friends borrow their style or manners. It’s only fun to come to school wearing the same T-shirts as a teenager. Over time, most of us tend to emphasize our individuality. If you feel that you have become the object of not only imitation but literal copying, it’s time to take action. I will show you how to save your uniqueness and not lose your friendship.
My Friend Copies My Looks and Interests. What to Do?
Be honest with yourself: do you copy your friend too?
When two people spend a lot of time together, they unconsciously become overgrown with common interests, expressions, and even taste preferences. Our brains even have special “mirror neurons” responsible for imitation, so nature itself taught us to adopt the experience of each other. Before accusing your friend of copying, pay attention to your behavior: maybe you also do something like her, or your tastes are really very similar.
Decide if you can ignore it.
If your friend got the same tattoo or bought a dress that you told her about just the other day, this is not very pleasant, but not a reason to stop communicating. Try to find the reasons for this behavior: perhaps she really admires you or is looking for her own style. Creating your own personality takes effort. That’s why most people find it easier to imitate.
Usually, more media people are chosen for inspiration, but in your case, you became her idol, which is a compliment in itself. New York psychologist Dr. Peggy Drexler advises assessing whether you’re willing to lose your friendship because of a distaste for imitation: “If you have a friend who loves the way you look and is less capable or less confident in his abilities, it is worth considering whether you can just live with it.
Weigh how worried you are about her copying against all the good things that she and her friendship. In the days of social media, which many people use to build their brand, the problem of copying can get worse. When a friend posts photos with the same style as yours or steals hashtags that you’ve worked hard on composing, it’s natural to react negatively.
Try to prevent it
Do it better carefully, without scandals and tantrums. When it comes to acquisitions, try not to tell where you bought this or that item. Pay attention to the details of her image that you do not have; compliment them. Or, on the contrary, say that the lipstick color you borrowed or the hairstyle does not suit her. It is important to highlight your differences and make it clear that the same things or techniques look different to you.
Help her shape her own taste.
If the problem is that a friend doesn’t have her own image, help her create one. Go shopping together and advise what she should change in herself. Tell her how you approach creating your personality and explain that she can do it too if she wants. Since she respects your taste so much, she will certainly listen to your opinion.
Speak up directly
When delicate methods don’t work, it’s time for an open conversation. Try to talk without blame: they can affect her self-esteem and only exacerbate her self-determination problem. A friend may deny her imitation out of shame or simply because she really doesn’t notice it. Tell her that even if she is copying you unconsciously, now she should pay attention to it and avoid this behavior. Do not involve strangers in the conversation, even to prove that her imitation is noticed by everyone. This is your personal business, and she may react aggressively to someone else’s interference.
If the situation with copying your image is serious, do not save your irritation, but take measures to solve the problem. There is nothing shameful or stupid about defending your individuality, even if you are not Beyoncé and this is not about a new hit, but just about the same captions to photos on social networks.
Psychologists Explain What It Means When Someone Copies You
Many girls, over time, notice that their girlfriends start repeating after them. From clothes to habits and hobbies. It’s flattering at first. But then it is alarming and even annoying. We found out from a psychologist what such a harmless habit actually threatens.
Often people with an unformed attitude towards others and towards themselves are engaged in copying behavior. A person during this period needs to rely on someone in order to feel the long-awaited ground under his feet at least for a while.
Note that this approach is very popular. You can see that many people copy the behavior of famous people in order to become stars. It also happens that you deliberately take followers as friends. It flatters that the person admires you. This inflates your ego. When the situation reaches its climax, you understand that something is already wrong with you. Then you need to think: maybe this is how you are trying to fill the void and the subconscious desire to be cooler. How to be?
In any case, there is no need to arrange a showdown. It can be painful for both. If they repeat after you and you want to keep the friendship, then talk heart to heart. Find out what is bothering your friend. Think about how to solve her problem together. Support her. Help her believe in herself and find her personality.