Do you easily spend money on needs and gifts for loved ones, but have difficulty opening your wallet when it comes to your own needs? You do not reckon with expenses when buying things for others, but try to save on yourself, choosing something simpler and cheaper in stores? Why is this happening and what needs to be done in order not to treat yourself as Cinderella – and of your own free will?
Why do I feel bad when I spend money on myself? You feel bad when you spend money on yourself either because of acquired fear of poverty, that comes from your childhood, or because you have a low self-esteem, when you subconsciously believe that you do not deserve to spend money on yourself. Psychologists call the inability to spend money on themselves “financial anorexia”. It is associated with the fear of spending more than planned, especially when it comes to oneself.
Why am I scared of spending money? Psychologists call the state of being scared of spending money “financial anorexia”. It, like physiological anorexia, is associated with fear: but if in the first case a person is afraid of extra pounds, then in the second it is about the fear of spending more than planned, especially if it concerns himself. The result in both the first and second cases is the same: the consequence of physiological anorexia becomes exhaustion, the consequence of financial – impoverishment.
What is worse is that financial anorexia leads to a person thinking that they do not deserve anything expensive, classy and prestigious. This includes clothes, food, restaurants, apartments, vacations. The way you perceive yourself reflects the way other people perceive you. So, do not be surprised that someone will respect you if you do not respect yourself.
The question, in the end, is not at all in the blouse that you take out of the closet in the morning to put on and go to work, the question is in the worldview, which is not so easy to throw in the trash, as we do with the old ones, or for some reason not things that suit us.
Is is okay to spend money on yourself? You must realize it is totally fine to spend money on yourself. If you constantly limit yourself when it comes to spending money, you will burn out very quickly. You must always encourage and reward yourself when you have achieved something. Yes, financial cushion is important, but what is the point of having money if you do not have a life to spend it. Remember about the happy medium.
How to Not Feel Bad About Spending Money on Yourself?
Here are some brilliant tips on how to not feel bad about spending money on yourself:
- Start by treating yourself and talking to your family and friends.
After we have figured out who – or what – is to blame for financial anorexia, another classic question is natural: what to do? Of course, in the most advanced cases, you can contact a specialist – a psychologist or psychotherapist who will help solve the problem.
But if for some reason you cannot do this – you do not have enough finances or you think that saving drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves, you can try to cope with the situation yourself – start pampering yourself.
Take at least the first step, even the smallest, along the way – buy yourself something small, but always expensive and of high quality – for example, lipstick or a bottle of varnish from a famous brand. Feel how pleasant it is to use it and even just hold such a thing in your hands, how favorably it differs from cheap Chinese fakes, fix this state – think that you deserve the best.
Then invite your friend to a cafe and order not the cheapest, but the most delicious cake, without thinking about how much it costs. Buy yourself a nice bag or an expensive pair of shoes. Of course, no one encourages you to go to the other extreme and waste money left and right, purchases should be reasonable in terms of your budget. But in doing so, you will be surprised to feel that with each purchase it will become easier and easier for you to spend on yourself, and perhaps over time you will realize that the problem that poisoned your life no longer exists.
The main thing now is to awaken in yourself the desire to spoil yourself. It will be easier to do this if you share the moments of joy with someone close to you: for example, dine in a cafe with a friend or sister. This will help dump the accumulated load from your shoulders. Once you learn to have fun again, you gradually get used to it and stop feeling like a victim.
- Make a financial plan and stick to it
Perhaps you feel that the money spent on yourself could go to something more important. Of course, you will feel guilty if, after the purchase, you are not sure whether you will have to save on food next month. In this case, financial planning will help.
Try to budget on a 50/30/20 basis. According to him, 50% of income is spent on mandatory payments and needs, 30% on entertainment and 20% on helping oneself in the future (savings for some purpose, creating a reserve fund, investments).
Naturally, you can tailor this to suit your conditions. If your city has very expensive housing, distribute income according to the 60/20/20 scheme. If you want to pay off debt faster or save up for vacation, increase the amount in the third category.
When you know exactly how much is spent on basic needs and savings, you can safely spend the rest on yourself. Now, instead of repeating, “I have to be more responsible with money,” you can say to yourself: “I took care of my accounts and goals and can please myself with something because I earned this right.”
Don’t berate yourself if you deviate from the plan and spend too much on pleasure. Just adjust your budget for next month by cutting spending in the appropriate category. After all, for this you need a plan – to help yourself control spending.
- Realize that spending motivates for even more earnings.
Imagine a situation: you lost your motivation to work and your productivity dropped significantly. You can, of course, go to a psychologist, read a few books for motivation, or try to do a number of other things, but this is ineffective. All you need to do in this case is just to spend money. Don’t be surprised, but it is.
The reason is deep inside: it is important for our brain to see the result of activity, and if we work daily, but do not get the opportunity to touch what we have earned, then we involuntarily doom ourselves to stress. As you spend money, you will remember why you work at all and will give you back the motivation to keep going. Moreover, if (hypothetically) you completely run out of financial resources, and there is no other way out but to make money, isn’t that the best motivator? Sometimes it’s useful to be in a difficult situation in order to get out of it later.
When we make and spend money, it stimulates us. We want to earn more in order to afford more. If you only save in life, without rewarding or pampering yourself with anything, then soon you will get tired of working and all desire to earn money will disappear. Then answer the question: why, in this case, save your money? Here is just one reason why it is better to spend money rather than accumulate it for years.
- Leave your “comfort zone”.
To improve your financial condition, learn to step out of your own comfort zone. What does it mean? Let’s say you occupy a position you hate only because they regularly pay. You are often visited by ideas of creating your own business, but it requires money and time, which you simply do not have. And then the only way out you see is dismissal, but, of course, you are not going to leave work, because you are afraid to be left with nothing. If you think in this way, then you are in the “comfort zone”.
What should be done in this case? The answer is: do the things that you are afraid to do, and thus improve your financial condition. Believe me, all rich people were not very comfortable for some time, and they all sacrificed something to improve their financial situation. A striking example of this is Mark Zuckerberg, who was not afraid to drop out of his studies at an elite university to pursue his Facebook project.
- Change your attitude towards budget.
Many people think that the budget does not allow spending money at all. In fact, he does not limit, but liberates. With it, you take care of yourself. By calculating in advance how much you need for basic needs and long-term financial goals, you can safely spend the rest on entertainment or self-development.
You worked hard to earn this money, so why not spend it on yourself? You deserve this dinner at a restaurant, or a trip with friends, or a new thing. You don’t have to blame yourself for a spontaneous purchase, because it is included in the budget.
- Open up your emotions.
Money allows you to buy emotions. If there is something that you can spend money on and not regret it, it is positive emotions and impressions. As Jill Paul said: “The most expensive things in life, as you know, are not things.” You can buy another item, which will then gather dust in the wardrobe, or you can buy something really worthwhile: pleasant impressions and new emotions. Go to the movies or cafes with friends, go skydiving, go boating, travel – in other words, have as much fun as you can. If you spend your money right, it will bring you maximum benefit.
If you constantly save and deprive yourself of these little joys of life, it will cease to please you, and there it is not far to apathy and depression. Why live for the sake of a mythical “something” so that life passes by? Here’s another reason why you need to spend money.
- Educate and develop yourself.
Money can benefit you and improve you. When we earn money, we do not always spend it only on things or entertainment, right? Many people invest in self-education: they attend courses, study at prestigious educational institutions, attend seminars and trainings. Naturally, this is beneficial, and the person becomes better. Investing in yourself is the best investment. By spending some of the money on your improvement, you will make an investment in the future, and the money spent will surely pay off, returning to you in double size.
Money is not evil, but an opportunity to satisfy needs and a means by which you can achieve your goals. The level of YOUR well-being directly depends on your way of thinking: underestimating the importance of money and treating it with a negative attitude, you will never be able to achieve financial well-being.
The “comfort zone” allows us to feel an illusory stability, but only after leaving it can we become better off. The material well-being of a person is closely related to the level of your development. A well-rounded person never complains about a bad financial situation and always treats themselves.