It’s not nice to feel ignored, whether by a friend, partner, or close relative, for example, your sister. Despite the desire to tirelessly pursue a person’s reaction, it is actually wiser to back down. Continue to lead your normal life while she digests her feelings. The good news is, chances are she won’t ignore you forever! Once things have settled, try arranging a face-to-face meeting with your sister to discuss the problem and come up with a solution that works for both of you.
What to do when your sister is ignoring you? If you are not sure what to do when your sister is ignoring you, try the following things:
- Try to figure out why your sister is ignoring you. Depending on the situation, the reason may be pretty obvious. For example, if you have a big fight with your sister, then most likely you know exactly why she treats you coldly. However, if you have not noticed any problems between yourself and the person who ignores you, think if you did something that upset her. For example, you were gossiping about your sister behind his back, and all your words reached him. If you didn’t include the person in your plans or didn’t answer their calls or messages, they may have been hurt by your behavior.
- Let her cool down. Regardless of the reason for being ignored, the worst thing you can do is constantly harass the person. Don’t bombard her with calls and messages, and don’t keep torturing her why she’s ignoring you. Give her some time to consider his feelings and decide if she wants to continue communicating with you
- Do not annoy your sister. There is nothing wrong with one SMS or call, but do not send a bunch of messages like: “Why are you ignoring me?”, “What did I do wrong?”, – or: “Please talk to me!” Chances are, these messages will not only anger the person but also give the impression that you are desperate. It can be very difficult to hold back and not try to fix the problem immediately. However, it is impossible to control another person, so it is best to give her some space.
- Get distracted by work, study, or hobbies. Trying to understand why a person is ignoring you or being obsessed with the fact that they are avoiding you, can take a lot of time and energy. However, this is unproductive and will only make you unhappy. Continue to do your daily activities and live your normal life. Getting immersed in work or school is a productive way of not thinking about the problem. In your free time, do whatever you enjoy doing, whether it’s fishing, cooking, playing soccer, carpentry, writing poetry, swimming, knitting, or coding!
- Spend time with people who care about you. While a falling out with a loved one can upset you, chances are they are not the only ones you enjoy spending time with. Reach out to friends and family and suggest going out. Take time to strengthen your relationships with others and spend quality time with them.
It’s important to keep track of your own emotional needs, especially if you’re having trouble in a relationship that’s important to you.
- Think about how you have responded to this behavior in the past. If your sister has boycotted you before, and you’ve given her a lot of attention in trying to mend the relationship, they may be trying to do it again.
This is another reason why it is important not to intrude or beg for attention. She may be ignoring you just to get you to react. Such a reaction will only show her that by ignoring he can get what she wants, when in fact it is an unhealthy way to solve problems.
- Get in touch to schedule a personal meeting. If you are not indifferent to your sister and you want to resolve the conflict, you need to deal with this problem. It is better to speak in person than to text or call, as you will be able to see the expressions on each other’s faces and determine how sincere your words and actions are.
You can call, write a message, or even send a note to make an appointment. Try saying something like, “I know you’re really mad at me, but I really want to talk to you about this. Can we meet for coffee at 10 am on Saturday? ”
Try to choose a neutral meeting place so that no one has the advantage of “home territory”.
However, your sister may not respond to your request or refuse to meet. In this case, there is nothing more you can do. If you don’t mind discussing future issues with her, let him know about it so she can contact you when she is ready.
- Ask directly why she ignores you. Now that you have received consent to the conversation, get down to business. Even if you have a clear idea of why the person is avoiding you, ask them for their point of view. You might be wondering what the problem really is, or why the other person thinks ignoring is the right way to solve the problem.
- Listen carefully to the words of your sister. Do not assume a defensive posture and do not consider counter-arguments while she speaks. This can be difficult, especially if the person accuses you of something or thinks you are wrong. However, try your best to listen to what she has to say, read between the lines, and really try to look at the situation from his perspective.
Use body language to show that you are listening by looking her in the eye and nodding in understanding or agreement.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you need clarification. You can also repeat her words to make sure you understand.
- Apologize if you are wrong. If you have done something that upset or offended your sister, take responsibility for your actions. Put your ego aside to admit your mistakes and offer a sincere apology. Confirming the importance of her feelings can play a big role in rebuilding the relationship.
- Explain your version of the story. Once the other person expresses their grievances and feels heard, it is your turn to explain how the conflict affected you. Share your perspective on the situation without blaming it. Use self-statements to describe your feelings, and remember to tell how you felt when you were ignored.
- Come to a compromise or solution together, if possible. At this point, you most likely already understand whether the relationship can be restored or not. In some cases, an apology is sufficient. But sometimes it takes time and a desire to get things right. Determine together what the next steps will be.
Each of you can offer a solution and a compromise to find an option that suits both of you.
It is easy to make promises, but even more difficult to keep them. Make sure you’re really willing to do whatever is necessary to restore trust in the relationship (if that’s your case).
- Accept that the relationship may not be worth saving. If your sister ignores you in order to get you to do what they want (or not do what they don’t want to), then they are manipulating you. This is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. If you notice that a friend or family member uses this type of behavior a lot, especially after you oppose them, you may be better off without this person in your life.